hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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