she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
