normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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