You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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