is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
