i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
