hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
