okay pat passed out under dana's car
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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