I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
