people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
