His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm bleeding and have questions
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
