when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
