Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
