I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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