but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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