Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
