Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
