OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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