I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
