i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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