4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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