i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
