Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
