Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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