A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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