areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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