I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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