The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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