dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
