I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He did a backflip because drugs
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