We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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