Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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