never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize