we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
