I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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