Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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