By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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