Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
