dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
