my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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