can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
