Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
