evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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