He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize