Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
