Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm like, not good at living.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
