hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
