The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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