Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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