my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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