we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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