So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
