By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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