My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
