TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
