My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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