I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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