Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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