my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
