i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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